This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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