I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
