We're like a lot better than the average bears
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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