Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
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