The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
