you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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