Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
