Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just gift wrapped bread.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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