Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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