so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Dear god my vagina.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
