I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
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