NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
