Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
