Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
