like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
