I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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