You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
