We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
