i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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