your room smells of hookers.
And success
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
