next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
