i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
