I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
