Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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