every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
