i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
