I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
