We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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