soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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