I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
