Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
