Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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