doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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