Don't make out with my wife yet
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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