Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
