Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
