Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
