dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
