At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
