it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
