her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
