I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
