Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
