Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I am naked and annoyed.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
