i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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