But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You pole danced in your parka.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
