Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
