so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
