I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
