From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
