I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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