i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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