Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
