If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I love having hate sex.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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