how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
